Runaway American Dream

Alan Watts 

(Source: teenagezoo, via loveyourchaos)

Laurie Penny on the youths abhorrence towards Margaret Thatcher.

I don’t remember Margaret Thatcher being in power. But I don’t think it matters.  I have only been alive for a tiny percentage of the past, even the pretty contemporary past, but that does not mean I have no understanding of historical politics and it doesn’t mean my opinions are any less valid.  

But today, I think nothing else but the above needs to be remembered.

Amidst all the shit in the world, I genuinely think this is really true..

(Source: jtotheizzoe, via twloha)

After a day riding this trail with my oldest friend I feel a bit better about life. I sometimes forget how pretty West Yorkshire is, but today I remember exactly why I love living here.

Since returning from our bike ride, I have been to buy proper food, made soup for the week, made a lasagne and cleaned the kitchen.  I have a bit of work to catch up on then I am having an evening to myself. 

I am going to chain smoke, drink green tea and listen to happy music and all will be well with the world.

(Side note: My boyfriend makes me laugh. A lot.)

Went out for an hour.. decided tonight was not a night to be with people, namely because I can’t think coherently nevermind attempt to verbalise said coherent thoughts.. and came home.

Rob is home now and I feel a bit better, and safe and generally ok.

As we passed out on the couch a few weeks ago and didn’t answer the door to the take out guy we can no longer go to our regular place so ordered in from a place we used to go.. I went to answer the door and Mr Kamran was all “Hiiiiii, I haven’t seen you for ages! How’s your Dad?” I did not correct him. I laughed. Rob did not laugh.

I need to stop eating take out and go to the fucking shop. I’m shit. 

Park run at 9am.. I need to turn my brain off and get some sleep.

It is Friday night, I met my Dad and step-Mum for a few drinks after work.. Dad felt the need to tell numerous stories about how shit I was at kayaking when i was FIVE YEARS OLD. (It may only be my opinion, but five year olds are not meant for kayaking.) Anyway, I digress.. It is Friday night, I met my Dad and step-Mum for a few drinks after work and now it is after 10pm and I am on my couch with various offers of things to do yet finding myself unable to make a decision.. and so I am doing nothing.

I am stressed about work. And it has seemingly taken all my decision making skills away.

Bella’s gig, 309’s gig, pub, town, Bradford.. people are out and people are all over the place and I have seriously no idea how to make this tiny decision. So apparently it seems I am staying in, not eating because I have no food. Apparently I am also unable to shop at Tesco online or go to the farm shop.. I feel like I am failing.

Park run tomorrow and great northern railway bike trail.. so maybe my head will come back somewhere on route..

Fuck this. 

(Source: -youareyourownworstenemy-, via amor-iterum)

(Source: josefinbladh, via amor-iterum)

I am currently using my Masters dissertation to write a work related submission to the Home Affairs Select Committee’s inquiry into the asylum process. 

I find this very exciting. (and it is reassuring that I didn’t waste a year of my life writing something pointless…)

I found out on Sunday that the Folsom Prison I used to live near is THE Folsom Prison (of Johnny Cash fame).

I find this very exciting also.

The above two points aside, I am still lost/confused/floating aimlessly.  Not really rating the world this week.

I had this conversation with a friend the other day…

(Source: peculiargroove, via shes-elecktric)

Newton Faulkner

So this is the way my morning is going. Productive from some perspectives..

Very bad morning.

Maybe I haven’t outgrown the blog after all..

(Source: imthemonstersundermybed, via amor-iterum)

these are some good things that have happened over the last few weeks.

• Road trips to South Wales with Avrill Lavigne and New Found Glory in an attempt to cling to our youth on the way to watching our friend become a real grown up.
• Mike’s wedding. It was beautiful. I cried. More than once. 
• Gemma’s delayed birthday in Saltaire
• Anna came to stay.  We went to Junior High school in the states and I haven’t seen her for a long time and it was so, so, so lovely to show her round Yorkshire. She has been travelling for a while and has left for Spain to walk the el Camino de Santiago (brought up in a Catholic family I feel I should venture there at some point…)  Her stories have reignited my longing to move around and feel a bit trapped again.. Watch this space. It’s exciting.
• I am going white water kayaking with my bestie very soon.
• One of my favourites is back in Leeds tomorrow.

I feel like I have a lot to say but I really can’t be bothered. I think I am outgrowing this whole blog thing… it has been many many years and many many different sites, but I think their purpose has been served…